Why We Need to Stop Assuming People Are Busy: Improve Communication and Connection

Do you ever stop yourself from contacting someone to ask a question, from calling a friend or a family member to check in to say “hello”, or from making a request of someone at work… simply because you think they are busy?

Today, I want to share the risks of making such assumptions and understand why making these assumptions hurts confidence and teamwork. I’ll be covering five main points and elaborating on each one.

1. Procrastinating or hindering your own performance
2. Creating your own inability to multi-task and making it a habit
3. Undermining your own confidence
4. Undermining other’s confidence and ability to multi-task
5. All the above points lead to diminishing your confidence and values

1. Procrastinating or hindering your own performance

• To make an assumption that someone is too busy, where it prevents you from checking in with someone, to ask for clarity, to ask for help, or to get a simple response, risks your ability to continue on with your work. It not only paralyses you from carrying on with the things that you need to do — that are important — it will even have you start casting doubts on your ability to perform to the point that it might lead you to fall for the “Should I” trap (see my September 17^th blog post on ‘Breaking Free From the “Should I” Trap’ at https://youtu.be/yvzznPM5KsY)

• It’s critically important that we don’t make the assumption only to hinder our own performance – where we have the potential to take on more tasks and we don’t. Break free from making this assumption, and you will see yourself performance take off and your skills and talents will start to grow.

2. Creating your own inability to multi-task and making it a habit

• When we hinder our own performance, what we are doing is creating our own inability to multitask. We simply aren’t able to handle so much at one time and this is what you are unconsciously telling yourself. Over time, we are doing this more and more frequently, it has become a habit. We have made a habit out of making an assumption that other people are too busy to answer our question, or to help when we need help.

3. Undermining your own confidence

• We are also undermining our own confidence. We are telling ourselves that we don’t have the confidence to approach others. We may fear we’re bugging or bothering people by asking a question, but this thinking is flawed. It’s presumptuous to assume others can’t simply tell us if they’re too busy. In reality, we aren’t even giving them a chance to communicate. By making decisions on their behalf— and thinking we’re being considerate—we’re actually acting selfishly. We’re denying others the opportunity to choose whether to help or to express that they’re busy, based on 1) our assumption that they’re too busy, and 2) our decision to act on their behalf, as if we are in their heads and know exactly what they would say. And that is bizarre!

4. Undermining other’s confidence and ability to multi-task

• We may also be undermining others’ confidence and their ability to multi-task. How do we know that the people we approach don’t have incredible skills and the capacity to manage multiple tasks? Perhaps they enjoy helping and would gladly take on another task to assist you. By assuming they can’t handle it, we are actually doubting their confidence and their ability to provide the response you need if you were to ask for help.
• This also leads to a lack of trust. How can people feel valued if we don’t trust them? When we withhold requests for help, we deny others the opportunity to step up, grow, or practice their time-management and problem-solving skills. Ultimately, we create a barrier that limits collaboration and growth.

5. All of the above points lead to diminishing your own confidence and values

• Each of the behaviors mentioned above—procrastinating, undermining your own or others’ confidence, and assuming your inability and others’ inability to multi-task —gradually diminishes both your confidence and your core values. When you continually procrastinate or make assumptions that hinder communication and collaboration, you further reinforce self-doubt and the belief that you’re incapable of taking action or asking for help. This internalized lack of confidence begins to manifest in how you approach tasks, making it harder for you to believe in your own abilities and to achieve the goals you set for yourself.
• Besides, these habits can diminish the value you place on open communication, trust, and mutual growth. By not giving others the opportunity to step up or clarify their availability, you not only weaken your own integrity but also limit the collaborative potential of those around you. Over time, you may find that your sense of responsibility, accountability, and the ability to rely on others is compromised, leaving you less aligned with the values you hold dear—whether those are trust, commitment, or personal growth.
• Ultimately, these patterns of behaviour chip away at the very foundation of confidence and values that are essential for both personal success and healthy, productive relationships with others.

It is critical that we don’t assume whether others are too busy to help. Instead, be sure to communicate your needs or requests when the opportunity arises.

What I’ve shared with you today is only a small sample of my strategies to help you find balance and to maintain balance in life. And there are many levels going much further and deeper in the 4 Human Needs Strategy, which you can learn and dive deep into in my coaching sessions with you. See below for more information about joining me in a Coaching Session or about booking a free consultation with me.

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I help my clients discover joy and find flow. If you feel there is anything that is holding you back in finding flow in your daily life — whether that may be leading and motivating your team at work, or taking your business to the next level, or it may be finding it challenging to go out or socialize — as your coach, I can provide a process that will connect you with your strengths and your true capacities to move forward.

If there’s something that you’d like to bring into your life, I’d like to help you!

Connect with me via email @ info@composurecoaching.ca to book your free consultation today.

Till next time…

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