A Sweet Christmas Story: What a Toddler Taught Me About Giving and Expectations

It’s three days before Christmas. I will share a little story that I thought was a teachable, coachable moment for myself and perhaps for many of you if it resonates with you during this festive time. It’s light, sweet, and funny. And this story revolves around a sweet little girl – an intelligent, curious, and observant girl. You can tell she has all these qualities when she looks at you with her big, sparkly, googly brown eyes and beautiful, long, brown eyelashes. She is my good friend’s daughter and my newly adopted little niece.

Here we are in the library, in the kiddie corner, where all the parents and their toddlers are. Jasmine wants me to read out loud to her about ten books. It’s a lot, but you know you feel special when a child wants you to read to them. Having been a teacher for many years, I get excited when kids want to learn. So, I acquire all the patience in the world to be in moments like this. I consider it a blessing and abundance. We are now on our ninth book; Jasmine’s mum returns from checking out around fifty-something books for the week for her kids.

We are now ready to go for brunch. I am so excited at this point because I have not eaten for about twenty-something hours, and I am super hungry.

As Jasmine’s mum puts her in the stroller, she suddenly starts crying, squirming, and kicking. Of course, we wonder what’s just happened. One minute ago, she was all calm and happy. The next minute, she is in a full-blown temper tantrum.

While crying and squirming, Jasmine, in her sniffly shortened breath, pushes these words out of her tiny mouth: “I (sob…sob…) WANT (sob, sob some more) PRESSIE.” She repeats these three words over and over until her mum panics and swiftly interrupts her: “What pressie? I don’t know what you’re talking about. We gotta go get food now.”

As soon as Jasmine blurted out those three words, I started to panic. Over the past few visits, I have been buying gifts for her and her little brother. I couldn’t help myself. Whenever I see a cute toy, I buy it for them. Perhaps it’s because my kids are all grown. I also love toys, though I don’t want any for myself.

Now, in my mind, I am thinking, “Is Jasmine expecting me to give her a present?” I am totally unprepared. It’s December 15th, and I have not started any Christmas shopping. I feel so pressured at this moment. Naturally, I whispered my question and reasoning to Jasmine’s mother, “Oops, is she expecting a present? Because I am totally unprepared.”

Her response was, “I don’t know. I don’t know what she is talking about.”

As we are on a schedule, we continue. We walk across from the library to enter a mall… to go to the food court. Being that it’s late Sunday morning, it’s pretty busy. The noise at the food court drowns Jasmine’s cries. When we found a table, I realized Jasmine had stopped crying. I look down at her, still in the stroller. She smiles at me, holding onto the “pressie” she has been referring to.

She hands me a perfectly wrapped rectangular box, like the size of a fictional hardcover, in pretty floral wrapping paper with a red ribbon bow on the top right corner, and she says, “Merry Christmas, Auntie Audra!”

What a beautiful moment and a total surprise! A sense of relief floods through my body. Before this beautiful moment, guilt had been running through my mind. I immediately hug and kiss her before removing the “pressie” from her little innocent hands.

I have forgotten that little kids’ minds are pure, innocent, and honest. I have made it up with my thoughts and expectations that Jasmine expected something from me, all from just the one word she says, “pressie.”

At the exact same moment that Jasmine is giving the present to me, her mother, too, looks relieved. She has been worried about Jasmine giving away their secret surprise Christmas gift they had prepared for me. This entire circle of worries is comical and laughable.

Here is the situation! Jasmine’s mother expects the present to be a surprise and for Jasmine to keep it a secret. I have been expecting myself to be more prepared with gifts, and I was not, and I even extended that thought to Jasmine, expecting to receive gifts from me. How convoluted our thoughts can be and how they can get tangled up so easily and quickly!

As for Jasmine, she only wants to be in the special moment of giving!

Wow, what a teachable and coachable moment this has been! Thank you, Jasmine. You remind me every day of lessons we can learn from you and all the children in the world.

Has there been any lesson you’ve learned from a child? What teachable and coachable moments have you received from children? How about unreasonable expectations in general? Have you had any with adults that may have led to a miscommunication or misunderstanding?